Can You Let Go of Trying to "Find Your Purpose"?
Most of the women who come to me to discuss working 1:1 usually express a desire to "find their purpose" they want and desire to know what they "should" be doing with their lives, they want my assistance in finding it and finding their "path" (life, work, and spiritual) and they come to me with the idea that it needs to be one path or purpose. And the first thing I tell them, is we are not going to do that (at least not with me), because there is nothing to find, it is not lost and that:
Your Life IS the Purpose
Now I am going to admit that generally does not make them feel any better, because they still feel unfulfilled, like something is missing or that they are not doing what they are meant to be doing, and they still need clarity on what that is, and of course their is a deep desire to connect with themselves, and with their Divine. But what I share is that getting clarity on what you are here to do, is not a finding process, it is a REMEMBERING process, and I explain why I don't work with Purpose, but I do work with remembering what your Soul (or another way to put it is Big Self) came here to do, and to recognize their born with and inherent gifts and geniuses, as well as, understanding that their life and all the events leading up to this moment are THE PURPOSE and the gifts. Even the events that were unhappy, unfulfilling, even traumatic, they are all things that inform us along the way. AND at the same time, I do not believe we have "manifested" all of those dark nights of the soul, but they are a part of our story and our journey. And I can't say why they happen to us, that is the deep spiritual question I ask all the time. But in my journey I have found ways of recognizing the gifts in all of my experiences, and that they are all a part of my soul curriculum, and are a part of my soul's essences and expressions.
Here are a few reasons I don't work with "finding purpose":
1.) Purpose is very often only used as it relates to our vocation and career and it does not look at our life holistically.
2.) Women (and men) so often spend an inordinate amount of time and energy trying to find something that is already inherent within them, they look external to themselves and miss all of the present moment magic of their lives and its organic unfolding.
3.) The idea of "finding a purpose" starts with the notion that until you do, you are in some way not whole, or you are lacking something. And that is simply NOT TRUE, you are a Divine and Whole beautiful being. The notion of feeling like you don't have a purpose often leaves us feeling like our lives are purposeless until we find this elusive "one thing". The "one thing" that everyone is here for when it all comes down to it, is a pure expression of love and Divine creation. Everything else is just the expression of that...if we allow it to be.
So, I am going to invite you… if you are someone who is trying to "find your purpose" to stop trying to find it, let that go, and ask your Inner Self, what wants to be "expressed" through me. Become aware that you are a vessel. Can you do that?
So you may be asking how do I remember? How do I move into more of what I am on this planet to do, and more importantly to be? First, I use the language sacred assignment, or soul curriculum because I do believe we were given an assignment before birth, and that our soul knows exactly what to do. This assignment has nothing to do with your external work, although your work is a part of it. The assignment is the essence of how your soul is meant to live in a human body to be in the end a manifestation of pure love, and yes unbridled joy..in both the light and the dark moments. BUT we forget the assignment, that seems to be the Divine joke, and we forget it very often because of life circumstances, external versions and stories of how and what we should be, and what we should do with our lives. For me, remembering mine was a huge gift that emerged out of a very dark night of the soul. It was the cosmic 2x4 that said sweetheart, you have known all along what you are here for, and you have chosen to ignore it and it is time to say yes to it, or you will always feel out of alignment and you will always feel anxious and worried about the future.
My story was one of embracing even more than remembering. I do think 99% of us know exactly what our assignment is but we choose to ignore it, often out of fear that if we say yes to it our physical needs, prosperity and financial needs may not be met. Or that we will be judged for not doing what our parents, friends, partners, teachers and the outside world thinks we should be doing. But here is the thing, as I mentioned earlier your assignment is NOT your vocation, but when you accept the assignment it becomes your compass point and your map for how you express that assignment in the world, no matter what you are doing, and you bring all of yourself to everything in your life, and discover that every part of your life is the purpose. However, once you know your assignment you make choices that support and nourish that assignment, so yes you may let go of all the things (or some of the things) that do not support it.
I am curious and would love to hear if you know your assignment and what it is?
And if you don't I am always here to support you with ways to remember it. Please do reach out. I have many ways of working and processes and practices to remember it, remember your soul curriculum, and use it as your Wisdom Map.
A few suggestions:
1.) Quiet down, make some space, take some breathes and ask the question..what is my assignment? Write down any answers (or do a creative process..paint, intuitive collage, anything image based) that come, do not judge, do not over-think, or even think at all. See what emerges, and speak the words out loud, see what feels most resonant in your body.
2.) Take an inventory and/or timeline of your life journey and note any consistent ways you showed up, how you expressed, how you shared your gifts and notice patterns. (Your assignment has been there and present with you the whole time). For example, my assignment is to inspire, when I did an inventory of my life I realized that is what I have been doing all along, in a multitude of ways and expressions, and vocations which have changed over time, but inspiring and being inspired has been at the core of it all along.
Take note of the darker times in your life, and ponder on what you felt was "missing" or out of alignment. In the above example, looking back, I now know the real reason it was time to leave the corporate world, was that I was no longer inspired AND the leadership no longer allowed me to inspire others and be creative. My assignment was no longer supported.
There are many more ways to work with this, and to use it at significant choice points and transitions in your life. It is also a way to remember your gifts, born with genius, your unique ways of expressing yourself, and how you empower yourself and others. I would love to have a conversation with you on this and how I may support you. Just reply to me and we can set something up.
Love and Light,
Dina
P.S. If you celebrate have a Blessed Passover or Happy Easter. I hope you enjoy quiet time, time with family, time in your spiritual practice whatever that may be, and time to play this weekend.