The title for this week happens to be the title of a Foo Fighters album. I don't think many of you know how much I love the Foo Fighters, and grunge rock, what I call angry man (and some amazing women from that time) rock..lol. But I was in my early 20's when grunge hit the scene, I am a tried and true Gen X'r , guidette from jersey, raised by hippies, paradoxical human. But I digress. Sort of. I love the title of that album; it speaks deeply to me. I have even done mixed media art projects using those words. Most music from that time if you look at the lyrics is pretty deeply spiritual, especially Dave Grohl's music. And I have been dancing with patience, grace and ease lately. One of my favorite songs from that album is The Pretender, go look at the lyrics but here is a taste. I digress again, sort of.
I'm the voice inside your head
You refuse to hear
I'm the face that you have to face
Mirrored in your stare
I'm what's left, I'm what's right
I'm the enemy
I'm the hand that will take you down
Bring you to your knees
So who are you?
Yeah, who are you?
So who is that voice, who is that enemy that will take you down, who are you? That voice, the one that wants to take you down? It's the voice of all the external stories that became your Inner Mean Girl, the Pretender, but that is NOT you and at the same time it is. I am asking you to be aware of it, and ask what is true in the moment, and to love both the Pretender and the Real Woman inside. And to acknowledge that even The Pretender can be saying things you need to quiet down and hear. And to be patient with yourself, be graceful, go into silence so you discern the voices and what's real and true, and echo the ones the speak of deep love of yourself and others. And I am no biblical scholar but isn't there something about loving thy enemy? Or maybe it is loving thy neighbor..can't be sure. And the adage keep your friends close but your enemies closer. Either way, who is closer to you, who is your neighbor other that part of you that pretends that you are less than what you really are? And I am asking you to love her too, because she came on the scene to protect you, now its time to love her, and give her a more meaningful job.
By the way, this is not AT ALL what my mind told me I was going to write on this week, but then I let the Muse take the wheel and this is what is emerging. For me writing in and of itself is a healing process, and through it, I work out what I am sitting with, in the very process of it, in this moment while I am typing. It can sometimes be quite an experience. I highly encourage trying it. But it always makes sense in the end...at least to me.
So back to patience, because that is what I initially wanted to speak to. Last week I spoke that you, you are the ONE THING, the magical gift that was brought here into the world to make good on an assignment. And when you learn what that is, for the most part you can walk through the world with ease and grace. And I really do believe that to be true. But it takes work, it takes holding up that mirror, and it takes patience with yourself and those around you. But you truly can do all of this with ease and grace, and a healthy dose of humor, and listening to the Foo Fighters. (Or the Red Hot Chili Peppers)
I was always in belief that I was impatient, part of that was I was told so from an early age so I took that on as a story, a personality trait, and part of it was true. When I was not in awareness of my assignment, I wanted everything right now, or even better, yesterday. And I do move quickly and can get impatient when those around me are not moving as quickly. I have come to learn to be in compassion and love with those who are not like me, who process more slowly, but trust me it has taken some work. And it's part of my shadow side, without doubt. I own that. But it is my commitment to meet the beloveds where they are and have patience. That is actually my deep work for this month and beyond.
But like my beloveds asking me to help them discover the ONE THING, I also hear a lot that they feel behind or feel they should be further ahead, they should have it all figured out (that by the way is the voice of the pretender, the one who is afraid of saying yes to the assignment, because it is a lifetime). But here is the thing and I know you have heard it, you are exactly where you are supposed to be. And here is the other thing, bringing your sacred assignment into form is NOT a one-shot deal, it is a lifetime, it is as practice. And as with most practices, they take time and patience. It is not some program, or some thing you do once, it is literally how you walk through the world, and how it expresses itself changes, and it takes patience. It also takes, going in silence, stepping away from the noise and the illusions of what you see on social media, all these so called influencers (I digress again, but I will be speaking to this on truth thursday in my FB Group), and coming home to who YOU are, YOUR timing, and YOUR gifts.
So, to bring this one home, and it took my spiritual mentor to point this out to me. I am much more patient than I ever believed I was. Once my sacred assignment became clear, it all made sense. The vision I held of having a sacred space, was I vision I held since around 2001, it took until 2017 to bring it into form, it took until now, and in every single moment to weave together all the "things" and in which I continue to weave, to realize that the IT was there all along, it just took that amount of time to wake up to it and own it. And at the same time know that how it expresses itself in the world can change and morph at any moment. And it is through surrendering to the mystery and patience with myself and others, and yes even with the DIVINE that I am able to be in ease and grace, and therefore love and joy.
I would love to hear from you, your relationship with patience, ease, and grace. How you are feeling right now in that dance.
Have a lovely, easeful, and graceful week.