"The psyches and souls of women also have their own cycles and seasons of doing and solitude, running and staying, being involved and being removed, questing and resting, creating and incubating, being of the world and returning to the soul-place.” - Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estes
This quote seems to be how I am feeling and living right now. The summer tends to be a rollercoaster ride for me, a riding of waves that tend to not stop ebbing and flowing. There is always somewhat of an inner battle going on between questing and resting, creating and incubating, being present with my family, being present with myself, and being present with my work. It is always a bit unsettling for me. But because I do work with my rhythms and the cycles of the seasons, I am aware of it coming, every single year. Doesn't mean I like it any better, and despite LIVING this way, understanding the rhythms, paying attention to my cycles I have not yet found the secret sauce to shifting it. The message might be to:
Maybe you can relate. I really do have somewhat of a love/hate relationship with summer, and as I transition to being older, and my son transitions to where he doesn't need me so much...maybe I just haven't caught up with time, and WHAT IS. My son actually said to me today, after I was feeling a tad guilty for working. "I really don't mind being bored, I am completely OK with it." Wow, little wise dude. I sat back and realized perhaps I was projecting on him, because as much as I work to just BE, and trust me that is my inner work. I am not a fan of being "bored" and especially not when I was a kid, boredom if I am not careful can be my kryptonite into self-sabotaging behavior (another past story I know I have transformed...but). And yet he is totally chill. So this was something I built up as a story in my mind. That I had to try to think of ways to keep him busy, do my JOB as mom, and yet that part of my sacred work has shifted, and hasn't really looked like the mom who had to pack up a million things for a trip to the pool or amusement park every day for several years now. And yet I am still carrying the story that that is what I "should" be doing, and yet no one is expecting that or even wants it.
Summer is a paradox for me, on one side I love the lack of schedule, not feeling rushed in the morning or like I have to get to bed by a certain time in the evening. I love the warm weather, and I most definitely love it being light out until 9. And then, on the other hand, feeling the need to do other things besides work..which I love to work, it feeds my soul, but my Inner journey is all about pleasure in the other areas of my life. I think for me, it does not help that the kiddo's school schedule doesn't ALIGN at all with the summer season, and that throws me off, every single year. Here in CO they get out in May and back in mid-August...when there is still so much summer left, but we are back into routine by then. I really have a hard time with it, and will never understand the schedule here. For adults or kids. And especially when we had such a long winter like we did this year. I feel like summer is just beginning, and I am already looking at Freshmen orientations and check-ins two weeks from now. Ugh.
So, I continue to be in awareness of and honor my own rhythms and those of nature. Even if it's uncomfortable, I receive new awareness every time I go through this (and all) cycles of life. I honor that for me this is liminal space, that the summer all seems like an in-between the worlds period for me, and each year I seem to come home to more of what IS comfortable, and also know that next year is in the mystery.
My invitation to you, is I would love for you to share what energies come up for you during the fire energy of summer, what patterns are rhythms do you notice? What works, what doesn't and how can you shift (or not if summer is your JAM) into being present with what is, and enjoying it. That seems to be my lesson for this cycle.
Love and Light,
To go deeper into the conversation around honoring the summer cycles please join us in my FB Group.