I really had no idea what I was going to write about this week, me not finding words is a rare occurrence. But I will have to admit, I haven't painted much in the last two weeks either. One might say I am in a bit of a creative block. Not really, what I am really in, is resistance to something big wanting to be birthed out of my soul and my fear of some changes that will result. So I did what I normally do when I am in resistance, I take a nap. For me naps are a way to get the muse talking. Right before I lay down she gifts me with an idea, and then I wake up with what she wants to say, or paint. There is a fine line though between napping for recharging and napping to resist creating anything. And this applies to us all whether we are writing, painting, or even creating our homes and businesses in some way. We go into resistance when we are dancing with the unknown, when we are dancing with the soul's music. You do not have to consider yourself an artist for this to be true, you are the artist of your spirit and your life is your creation.
I have been reading The War of Art by Steven Pressfield and he really has a great take on resistance, our minds, our ability to distract ourselves. This includes all sorts of ways we allow ourselves to be distracted and blame the external world for not doing what we are on this planet to do. Kids, family, work, household stuff, addictions(including social media, tv, netflix), sex. You name it, it's just another form of resistance to what our soul is calling us to do, and in the last few weeks I think I have engaged every single distraction there is. He says, and I love this:
“Like a magnetized needle floating on a surface of oil, Resistance will unfailingly point to true North-meaning that calling or action it most wants to stop us from doing. Rule of thumb: the more important a call or action is to our soul’s evolution, the more Resistance we will feel towards pursuing it.”
So that's the good news, the more you are resisting and succumbing to distractions the more you know you are on the path your soul is screaming at you to take. And you are scared, I get it. But like anything else, once we become aware of it we can begin to transform it. I even had a hard time sending emails this week. I spent more time scrolling through news feeds than anyone should, I napped, I probably smoked a thousand cigarettes, I watched a lot of art videos...did no art. Which by the way this awareness of these distractions, and knowing how much they are holding me back from my soul work is now the driver to stop that shit once and for all. It's not like I didn't know that before, but this is a whole knew way of looking at things.
I think many of us think or are even taught through certain paths that if things keep getting in our way, or we keep resisting, that maybe it is because we are going down the wrong path, and so we stop moving forward or begin to question everything. I can say based on what Pressfield has to say, and digging deeper into myself, that exactly the opposite is true. It is like when I have been in birthing rooms and the moms ask for the drugs right before they transition and the baby is crowning. The birth is happening, its right there, there is no turning back and you don't need the drugs, in fact, it's too late to take them. The same is true for all the ways we distract ourselves from our truths.
This week I had several conversations with different mentors, all bringing into awareness and holding space for what I want to birth, they are calling me to greatness in some of my work...and so the resistance comes front and center.
Here is another big fat resistance that I tell myself, a story I run, is I can't create unless I have huge blocks of time(does that sound familiar to you?).And that rarely happens, and even when it does I find all sorts of ways to use that time up doing other things, filling my time with meetings, social media posts...blah blah blah. So I am running two experiments because sometimes I actually do need large chunks of time to create what it is I want to put out into the world next. One is a short creative practice every day. before I get busy with other work, which may become a video challenge for you too. The other is, I am blocking out a week a month for creative time, creating just for me, creating some curriculum and work out in the world, and creative strategy. It will be an internal time. No teaching, no one on one meetings, no networking, and very little social media time except to engage with my beloveds, but the newsfeed will remain off. This is a test of the internal broadcasting system. But it is necessary in order to do what I am here to do.
So I ask you as a practice this week, to be in awareness of the resistance and distractions you put in place that prevent you from your soul's calling. Gently notice, I am not talking about throwing yourself into judgement over it. Literally set an alarm every 30 minutes throughout your day to stop and see if you are living your sacred assignment or if you are doing the busy work, the distraction stuff, cruising Facebook with no intent or purpose except to get pissed over political posts and love on cute puppies.
I don't know Pressfield's solution to the resistance...I know he has one I just haven't gotten that far yet. I know mine, besides naps. It is putting pen to paper or fingers to keyboard, or brush to canvas and just begin with no idea what I plan to say, paint, write, but just let it flow. It's exactly what happened here. And now the ideas are flowing, I am in allowance of the next focused actions, and the path is lit in front of me.
Love and Light,