I doth protest.
I often use the term that I am a creator-destroyer and I don't think I have ever really explained what that means. But it is the archetypical energy of someone who creates a lot of things in the world, and usually only does them once (hence the destroy part), or those of us with this energy love to create an idea, bring it into form, and implement it but leave the maintenance and management to someone else or just let it fade into the ethers; easily moving on to the next idea without much grief or difficulty letting go of the old or letting things ends.
But this can be pretty exhausting too.
Doing this was my job in the corporate world; create, implement and hand it off, then create the next thing, and on an on. What happened from there was not up to me. Even in my creative life, I have never knitted the same project twice, I do not paint "series" pieces, my writing is short...books have not come into form yet, I have not danced the same choreography twice, and I don't even like cooking the same meals over and over again. I am not going to lie there is a sense of freedom, aloofness, and certainly is exciting. But there comes a time when seeing things bear fruit is also deeply satisfying.
I believe that time has arrived for me.
When I was considering opened Amused Woman Studios one of my biggest fears was losing freedom and getting into something for the long haul, because I wasn't going to do it, if I wasn't IN IT for the long haul. The whole point is to build a community, and that takes time, patience, and the ability to hold space and be a constant force of grounded energy. And so here I am, doing just that and loving every minute of it, but it has taken some adjustment to my comfort zone of always moving on to the next thing, and instead building something of depth and potency.
So as I have been in my dreaming and illumination time since the solstice, what continues to emerge is that it is time to preserve and maintain. To amplify and make what I have already done even more powerful and accessible. And I do resist because even though this is where my heart is calling me, it is still in my nature to create lots of new stuff and the ideas do not stop coming. And so I journal those and allow them to rest. Because there is also a deep sense of freedom within me to work with what I have, deepen the gifts, amplify my presence, which is already enough and allow myself the space for the unknown to come through. Because there is one thing for sure that I know, and it is that what lies ahead is unknown for all of us, and I am excited about that. I know there are some juicy yet unknown things sitting out there in the mystery, and the only way to bring them into form is to be open to receiving what I cannot describe or put on paper on vision board or goal list.
I write this to you as an invitation, to consider particularly if you are in business, but also in your personal and spiritual life....what can you deepen into without always being in growth, expansion, and creating the new mode? How can you deepen into and amplify all the magic that you already are? And how would it feel to do that, and give yourself some grace to just receive the unknown? For me it feels expansive, free, playful, and allows me to be curious.
And with that said, I am really looking forward to diving into the deep end with all of you in 2019!
Love and Light,