This letter is coming to you later than usual, because this week I struggled with what I was going to write about. I wanted to write about carrying the energy of the Queen and being sovereign over your own life. But I couldn't find all the words, nor did I have the energy, because I suspect that subject will be a bit of a Magnum Opus, in fact I know it will as I am developing a three month painting and inner journey around this very subject. And so I will touch on one facet of it around making decisions, distilling and simplifying.
I realized this morning we are moving into half moon waning and moving closer towards the Dark Moon time. And then I understood why it wasn't the time to write the "huge" article. This is the time to look at the journey you have been on and distill what needs to be continued and carried on down to its most simplest essence and form, and then perhaps release the rest, at least for now.
As I have worked with distilling down the heart and soul desires I set in the beginning of the year, to what I truly want to put my life force energy into, there were two large heart and soul desires I had around my sacred work and several others in my personal and spiritual life. One of my sacred work desires is a co-creation that involves a team, and the other was a large program of my own creation. And I have remained open to what will come around both of those things. This past week, the opportunity for the co-creation became more clear and available, and so I knew I had to distill and get simple. Would I take this opportunity, would I say no in favor of something I have wanted to put out into the world for some time now, or would I try to do both since they were both on my list for the year?
And the answer came. I know I am "capable" of doing both, but as a woman who is sovereign over her own life and decisions I also knew that if I did both I would go into overwhelm and overwork, and not work on any of my personal, spiritual, and creative desires. And so I have chosen to work with the opportunity of co-creating something big and not going it alone. What I also know is that when I made the commitment to step out of the matrix of traditional calendars, and goal setting, that not everything needs to be done by December 31st or I have failed, which so many women carry that around and then beat themselves up for not accomplishing everything by some made up timeline. Stepping out of the external forces of time management allows for so much more freedom and fluidity. So I have asked the Divine to watch over my other seed until I am ready to give it my energy and attention. Where in your life can you release control over exactly WHEN something is supposed to happen?
What I also distilled and simplified around this other program/project was asking questions, why do I want to do this, who do I want to serve, does it have to be a large group and the energy it takes to fill said group? And again the answer came, I love working with groups, but when it is a one-time class I often don't feel like I get to go deep enough with my beloveds, so I thought 9 months together could be completely transformational. BUT, there is also the comparison queen that says you have to do large group programs to be impactful, and do it how all the other coaches, healers, teachers blah, blah, blah do it. I had two wise teachers tell me this week to not discount the impact you can make working with one person at a time. And I also love working with individuals to a level of depth you can never get to in a group.
And so the simple, distilled answer is do your large group work as part of a team of other amazing teachers, and offer your 9 session journey to individuals and that work will inform creating a bigger program in the future, and remain open to what the Divine has in store. This feels so simple, light, free, and yes a decision made from my own sovereignty that says you don't have been in the madness matrix that everyone else is and you can also be sure you are taking care of yourself, your spirit, your creativity, and your body.
What aspects of your life can you simplify, distill, let go of, or allow a seed to remain underground for another cycle...and not feel guilty about it or like you failed?