As I have mentioned I am in the "internal" time, I have been since November's Full Moon to some degree, but really in earnest since Sunday after my last workshop for the year. And I am not going to lie, it is not easy just being instead of doing. Every part of me wants to do more, plan for next year, create goals and tasks, or the opposite, do nothing at all...as in ride Facebook in order to avoid what is going on inside. But I know the gold is in the reflection, and because I am in this space and a creative being, all sorts of ideas are coming my way, as is what will happen if you choose to take some time in stillness and reflection between now and January 6th, the next New Moon.
BUT instead of act on the ideas, I have taken some notes, journaled and then released them for the moment rather than immediately create an action plan, because I don't know yet if all those ideas should come into form. That comes later, after I have celebrated my completions, spent some time just being with and embracing what is still in the shadows, doing some release, and then feeling into how I want to show up in 2019 before I go acting on ALL of the things. I have to confer with Inner Wisdom to see where my energy wants to go next year. I have a feeling I know what that is, but that doesn't mean I am not in resistance to not moving like a freight train on all of these shiny, new ideas. But I have to breath, I have to get still, and I have to see what emerges and what really fuels my fire. Because I don't know any one of us that can bring every idea into form, at least not in the short term. And some things aren't meant to be birthed right away. But unless I spend this time in reflection I cannot discern what those are.
Some of you have already done your visioning for 2019, some of you haven't. Either is OK, go at your own pace, no judgement either way, but I can say after years of being an intense visioner and planner without first tapping deep into myself and reflecting, the visions rarely came into form, because I had no real idea what was in my heart and soul desires, and I was a slave to my goals, then beat myself up when I didn't meet them. I won't have my vision fully laid out until Feb 1 or thereabouts, and then I continue to tap into it every season to see what is still in resonance and where I want my energy and focus to go. That doesn't mean I don't have things happening in January and February, but because I don't have a January to December schedule, I have already planted seeds last spring, brought some things into action in summer, took a look again in the fall at what seeds became reality, what seeds I still wanted to nourish, and what I would bring into form in the winter, to have in place, so I COULD relax and be in a reflective time now. It is so fluid. And yet back to all those NEW ideas coming up.
One of the epiphanies I had in my reflection time the other day, is as someone who loves to be both creative and analytic, it is a gift that I honor but can sometimes be a curse. Where I choose to spend my time can be a real dance, because I love it all. Its like having two lovers that you love equally and have to choose whom to spend your time with. I can be just as much in my joy writing a business plan and creating a project plan as I can dancing, writing and painting. It is in MY full magic to be doing both at the same time, painting a business plan is like an orgasmic experience for me. So I plan to do more of that for those who would enjoy it....painting a business plan...not an orgasmic experience. Well not with me, but I hope orgasmic experiences are on your vision board.
I am also going to invite you to go into some quiet and stillness and reflect and journal on these four inquiries, preferably before you do your vision, but remember something else, your Vision does not have to be set in stone for an entire year, it can be fluid, so if something comes up for you in this process, then change the vision, its OK, its your vision, no one else's. I will share these with you and give an example for each.
What are you celebrating for 2018? What did you complete, or put in motion that you would like to celebrate? Honor it, honor you.
I am celebrating opening the studio and building a community, this will always be a work in progress, but it was the culmination of a twenty year vision (some visions are not overnight, or even a year, or even a decade). I am celebrating getting closer with my husband and son, and my son becoming an amazing young man.
I am celebrating my completion of my Path of Self Love Guide training.
What didn't work out so well, and is it time to let it go, or re-commit? NO JUDGEMENT on this, these are often our greatest lessons.
I did not do all of the things to honor my body that I set out to do, there is still some deep inner shadow work, and releasing that is going to continue to happen as I shed some things that no longer serve me. And bring in some things that do, small baby steps.
Co-teaching did not work out well in all situations (in some it worked wonderfully). I am going to be very discerning about this in 2019 and likely create an agreement document for those who want to co-create with me, so that equal energies are being put into the project.
What is still lurking in the shadows of your spirit/psyche that you are resisting or avoiding being with altogether? Be honest here, reach out for support if you need it.
Woo-lot's of these I am looking at here. But the glaring one is my dance between trying to do and be it all, with then saying screw it, I have worked hard enough, and then over-indulge in self-sabotaging habits. It is a deep dive into my shadow and light of my rebel archetype. I smell a painting process for this one.
And lastly, what are your heart strings pulling at and putting into momentum for 2019?
Well again lots here for me, which is why I am really in reflection, but the pull right now is to cultivate and amplify what I have already built rather than create a whole bunch of new stuff. I really want to cultivate and amplify deep love in this community and have some ways I am considering doing that. I plan to amplify the content I already have to make it more powerful and accessible.
I am deepening into my own personal creative journey and doing a lot of art journaling and technique. Mixed media is my first love. And I am igniting my dance practice again. I am also going on a deep spiritual journey in 2019. (well I do that most years, its a daily practice, but this is really, really deep)
There will be some behind the scenes things happening that could be a long process that I plan on being gentle with and not rushing.
So that is a peek into my process, it will continue to emerge and evolve over the next several weeks. I really hope you take the time to reflect on these and journal on them and see what emerges for you. Please reach out of you need me, or if you need reflection. I would love to hear what you come up with when you do these inquiries. Happy Holidays, Dina