"You ARE, the moment you decide to BE."-Jamie Sams
Over the years I have had great mentors and teachers say "Just show up". Show up to your life first and foremost, don't just be an innocent bystander. But then show up for your students and clients, and of course, show up for you family and beloveds.
This week as every member of the family fell like dominos at the hands of the flu; I, like most women had to decide what and who to show up for first. We wear many masks and play many roles, and sometimes we just can't "show up" for it all. I had to make some hard decisions to cancel and reschedule all of my clients, classes, and meetings. I do not take these decisions lightly, because one of my deepest soul desires is to serve, inspire and teach. But it is also to be present to what is right in front of me, to myself, and to my family and sometimes I have to surrender and let go of control. And anyone who knows me knows that I like to be in control, even though I know I don't control anything. That is my personal work in this life. I almost, OK I admit it, I did for a moment let all of the moving and rescheduling throw me into overwhelm, so I had to stop, dead in my tracks. Go sit in quiet, come home to myself, again and again, and just ask for guidance from my Inner Wisdom, and she said "just take the next right action." Which for me was to crawl into bed and allow my own healing as I was starting to feel sick. It was also to stop beating myself up for not being able to show up for everything and yes everyone. No judgement, no shame, just being.
The blessing in all of it is the deep gratitude I have, one for creating a life where I have the freedom to make these decisions and not have them made for me, and two for the understanding of my students and clients for whom I hold so much love. It also means I was able to move some things on the calendar which allows some women to attend who initially could not. So the Universe always KNOWS.
I would like to hear your stories of when you wanted to show up for ALL the things, but just couldn't. Were you able to step into self-forgiveness? Were you able to say, honey, in this moment I AM ENOUGH?