I was supposed to be writing the third part in my series about transitioning out of corporate work into feminine work this week. The Muse said otherwise; she digresses and I listen. For those of you just meeting me, the Muse is my language for the Inner Wise Woman because my Wise Woman speaks to me through creativity. This week she wanted to take center stage in my life, my art, my writing, and I do not ignore her. This tendency to change direction at the whim of my Muse, I am certain drives my Social Media Goddess insane. I am supposed to be on a content calendar, with subjects and dates all figured out a year in advance.
My Muse rebels.
The last two months in my Intentional Creativity™ Teachers training our big work is creating a painting depicting the messages from our Muse; who then informs the rest of our work. In the process, we journey to meet her, and listen for the messages. Her message to me over and over was “break the waters”, and there were symbols for water and water creatures. I latched onto this, as I have a deep relationship with water, and even went to the ocean to hear the messages directly. I also have done some other Womb Wisdom work this month, and what came up was the story around my son’s birth and how it was not the natural birth I wanted to have. There is a reason I go through this work, before I teach it to you. I put on my brave cape and go to the inky depths so that I can hold space for you when you join me there. This is a story I thought I released, and yet the Inner Wise Woman told me I was not done with this one yet. That there are still some lessons to be learned from the spiral.
As I went through the painting process none of the ocean and water themes emerged or so I thought.
This is the point in the 13 Step Intentional Creativity process where everything is supposed to integrate and then we go to meet her again and see what else she has to say. I call it my “ugly phase” and this is when the Yang of the Inner Critic begins the battle-dance with the Yin of the Muse; the Muse always wins but not after the Critic wakes me up and opens my eyes, forces me to become curious. This is the point in the painting process when the baby is crowning, the pelvis is opening, and the midwife is ready to receive, and the birth is inevitable, no matter how much my mind tells me I can’t do it, I can’t birth this child.
What I noticed immediately is the eagle eye in the upper left of the painting, and all I could think of was…this is not an ocean creature; I am going to paint over it. But it kept staring at me. And the battle between what my “mind” thinks should be there, and what the spirit obviously wants to say ensues. So I got curious which is really what this work is all about. I went to my copy of Spirit Animal by Ted Andrews to see what wisdom this Eagle is trying to share with me.
As it turns out Bald Eagle is a Sea Eagle, she penetrates the waters (remember the first message-breaking the waters) to get sustenance. Eagle has one talon in Heaven and one talon in Earth with the waters in between to sustain her. Eagle is in an alchemical dance between her inner child and her elder, and is a reminder to be playful and curious.
Can you see that through this process and through this work, that the symbols may change but the messages stay the course? That sometimes you have to release your attachment to the way you think things should look and surrender to the truth of things in the present moment; listening all along the way? Allowing these messages to inform your decisions in how you walk through life? Allowing the Muse to speak louder than the Critic, trusting that her guidance will never fail you.
As I begin to bring the gifts of this process out to you my audience and teach this process I know you might be thinking that you are not creative, you cannot do this painting thing.
I assure you that you can if only you listen to your Muse.
The Muse would not let me do another thing today until I wrote this, including continuing to painting her. But now I am going back in; if I don’t emerge in two days please send coffee, ice cream, and roses.