I started 2017 with the intent to remain in the mystery, I had an unplan plan, and consciously chose to embark up my Intentional Creativity Teacher training journey, but other than that I was not holding onto any outcomes or putting controls and constraints on major goals. There was; I admit a bit of "who do you think you are, teaching art? You are not an artist." A story that I had been holding on to since I was a child. But the truth is, I am an artist, we are all artists. And it took a breakdown in the summer of 2016 in order to breakthrough, and step into my sacred assignment, and take a really deep assessment of what my gifts truly are, vs. what my mind told me I was and what I should be.
I truly believe that when we do not spend time learning what our sacred assignment is, and to realize and claim our gifts, we are living in a space of the in-between, that for many of us results in anxiety, depression, and "not good enough" syndrome. Trying to be all things to all people, except ourselves.
To give a little backstory, I started my adult life working in the corporate world, and there were so many parts of it I loved. I loved connecting people, I loved mentoring and guiding women and men who were new to the industry, I loved finding creative ways to solve problems and make the work more streamlined. I loved diving into systems and processes from a big picture standpoint in order to makes everyones' life easier so they could focus on the important stuff. I loved herding the executives in the board room to vision where the company was going, and how to make sure the people were not left in the dust in order to meet the bottom line. Until, that was no longer important to them, and when getting creative was not on the agenda, experimentation was no longer appreciated, it was all pass or fail. That was my signal to leave that world. But it took me 15 years to realize that was because my sacred assignment was to inspire and when I couldn't do that my soul was no longer in the game. I knew I needed and wanted to make an impact in peoples' lives that really mattered.
So I left to begin my training and work in the healing arts in many different modalities over the years. Those of you who know me, know that I have experimented with a lot. I often get the "what are you doing now Dina?" look when I say I am studying something else. To some that may look like I am "all over the place". And for a long time perhaps I was, I also chose during that time to ignore the gifts I used when I was in the corporate world, despite the fact that those were and are a huge part of who I am. But I was convinced HEALER was my sacred assignment, and so I pursued, and I met a lot of teachers, and one thing led me to another and another. If I was curious about it, I learned it. Some things were put into practice as my work, and some things were just for "me" and my process. But for a long time I knew deep down inside that this was not my true work in the world, it was not my sacred assignment, and I was ignoring the true gifts of my soul that I came into this life to share. Was I a good bodyworker, herbalist, etc, etc, etc. Yes, I was very good, yet it was not fulfilling me. There was still that elusive piece of the puzzle missing.
Except it wasn't elusive and it wasn't missing, it was right there all along.
In the summer of 2016 I was in a state of such deep anxiety, basically a constant panic attack. My body was literally buzzing, I couldn't leave the house, I could barely eat. I met my mentor and some other teachers who essentially talked me off the ledge, by reminding me to listen deeply to myself, to really, really look at my sacred assignment, without ignoring the previous 20 + years of gifts. To step into who I was here to become, and to relax into the mystery. I also used art and creativity to heal and to re-write my story to be aligned with the medicine I carry within me, and that you all carry within you.
What I came to learn, is that I came full circle, the assignment and the gifts were there all along, but I just did not always have the language for it. I am here to Inspire myself and others. My gift is connecting myself and others to themselves and each other. My gift is one of vision and seeing in others that which they sometimes cannot see in themselves, and teaching them creative ways to shed the masks and see what is underneath. I love to work with groups who recognize each othe'rs gifts through creative practice and to hold a mirror up and see we are not alone, and that transformation is more powerful in community than going it alone like I did. I love to connect students with teachers, and all my years in the healing arts puts me in a position to connect people with the gifted healers I have connected with over the years. And the biggest gift we all have:
"Your presence is the medicine. "
That is it, it is that simple. Be present for yourself and others. Just show up as who you are.
When you live from that place of weaving your sacred assignment into all that you do, when you don't hold back your gifts, and you don't care if some people are not ready to see or hear them, but you are going to rock your badass self anyway. When you remain curious and open to the fact that life is an experiment you cannot fail, that is truly living. That is you happening to life, not life happening to you. Don't ignore your gifts for as long as I did because of some story your mind keeps telling you in order to keep you safe.
I would love to hear which gifts you are rocking, and how I can help you discover all that lies beneath the surface.
Love and Light,
Please visit www.amusedwomanstudios.com for the latest class calendar.