One would think that my first blog post on my brand-spanking new website would be all about what I do, what services can I offer you, how can I help, what can I sell you, when do you want to book an appointment with me? A CELEBRATION!
Well it is a celebration, a celebration of giving birth, or perhaps my re-birth. I have written copy for four different websites and businesses I have ran over the years, and normally it comes so very easily for me. It is easy for me to write about what I have spent years studying and learning and what I am passionate about. Not this time, this time the work is a little more deep, a little more real, and authenticity was extremely important to me.
But something wasn’t feeling right or authentic as I was sitting down to write all about what I do to help women and be of service. And I thought HOW COULD THIS BE? I have studied this work for almost two decades, I am passionate about it, I have been down so many roads; I have been able to help women who are just starting the journey, THIS IS MY PATH!!! And then the perfectionist and controlling shadow came out to play. AND IT ALL CAME TO A GRINDING HALT!
Earlier in the year I took a business course, and I will always be grateful I took it, I learned so much and have so many tools I can implement over time. But I put the pressure on myself to do ALL THE THINGS and DO THEM RIGHT now! I learned that the only way to be successful and abundant was to create webinars, online courses, newsletters, blogs, opt-ins, GROW MY LIST! And guess what happened? I tried to do all these things, without even knowing whether or not they resonated with me. I stopped being present and in the moment, I stopped my own healing process, I stopped HAVING FUN; in an effort to be sure I am more visible.
AND HERE IS HOW SPIRIT RESPONDED
- The Universe decided it was time to practice what I preach by putting me into anxiety and panic, creating a dark night of the soul for which I would have to use all my tools and knowledge to bring myself back into the light.
- Spirit said it was time to come back to the present, take care of myself physically, mentally and spiritually. Enjoy nature, enjoy life, have fun.
- Spirit told me that my inner life was not resonating with my outer life, and that I was trying to do and control that which I have no control over.
- Spirit told me I enjoy working one on one or in small groups with people, and that AT THIS TIME creating huge group workshops and online courses, and webinars is not what is necessary for me RIGHT NOW. I have abundance in my life and I HAVE EXACTLY WHAT I NEED. My mission is to help people, my heart is happy if it is one person or a hundred people. And maybe the time will come when I am ready to share the teachings in this way, but it is NOT NOW and that is OK. I cannot help others if I am not in alignment with the practices I teach.
- On my website, I tell women I am not afraid to sit with them in the darkness, and hold their hands while they come back into the light. I say this because I have been there, and I likely will go there again, and it is because I have had teachers to hold my hand and help me through it, that I know I can do the same for others. I ask that you not walk this path alone, my dears.
I would love to hear in the comments what things are you doing that are no longer serving you? What are you trying so hard to control that it is creating darkness? And what are you doing to come back into the light?