"In a world where everyone is over-exposed, the coolest thing you can do is maintain your mystery." - Unknown
Those of you have been reading my stuff for a while know how I love to live in, and explore paradoxes. I do that dance on the continuum until I find the still or balance point. This week I have been sitting with my own relationship to visibility and/or invisibility and leaving some things to mystery and curiosity. My beloveds and other circles I am in have been more in conversation around shedding invisibility cloaks and becoming more visible. Laying the fear of being seen and heard down, once and for all. And it is a dance. Some of us are more comfortable being "out there" and some more introverted. But the exploration of the stories behind either, and the desire to shine in your light and what that means for you is something worth exploring.
So what is your relationship with visibility and how is it serving you?
For many women I meet as children being invisible was literally a survival mechanism protecting them from abuse and trauma. Which most definitely served a very important purpose, one in which I am not going to dive into deeply, because that is too deep a space to hold for a newsletter. (But please do reach out if you need a support referral for that). For others, they took on their cloak of invisibility, still as a protection method, but more in order to protect their heart from hurt, fear of judgement, and a whole laundry list of reasons, again usually stemming from childhood, and the stories we took on to keep from getting hurt. And even as adults sometimes in our work world it was safer to "fly under the radar" to protect our livelihood. But at a certain point it may become time to remove the cloak in order to grow and expand, AND most importantly for people to "see" you, the real you so they can connect with you and love who you are.
And then there is the flip side. Being very visible and "out there", maybe sharing all the time, the whole story and with anyone who will listen. In an effort to be seen, heard, understood. I carry this story as a petite person all my life, I literally would not be seen unless I spoke up. And the other part is just how I dropped on the planet, I think my mother will tell you I was talking as I was coming out of the womb. I am comfortable with visibility, in fact my work depends on it, and that was by choice because I love to connect on deep levels. But there is a time when even I want to retreat, be mysterious, go under the radar, and the truth is, I don't always honor it. This comes from my fear of not being seen, heard, understood, fear of loneliness if I am not always out there connecting. Fear that I will be forgotten. And yet in this world of constant and instant connection sometimes I feel disconnected. I am feeling the call to be mysterious. A mentor of mine, once told me there is something to be said for mystery, it peaks peoples' curiosity. I have also come to understand since I speak and teach on honoring rhythms, that every year at this time, I seem to feel this pull behind the veils, or at least the anticipation of it, since I do take that time in December and early January to step out of visibility as much as possible.
I think when we tap into our true desires we come to understand that there are times the invisibility cloak serves us and there are times it doesn't. There is actually a shamanic technique that involves putting on an energetic invisibility cloak when you go out in public (famous people actually have this mastered) and want to be invisible and just observe what is going on around you, without having to engage in conversation, and just feel the energy of your surroundings. I sometimes get my best intuitive information from just observing, and shutting up every once in a while...lol.
And again, the paradox, if you are constantly wearing the cloak, putting up the walls, not sharing the gifts of who you are with the world, you may be missing out on some deep connections, relationships, and the continuum of love between yourself and others. And if you are feeling that desire for deeper connection and sharing, maybe it is time for you to remove it. At least for a little while and see how it feels.
I would love to hear FOR YOU if putting on the cloak or taking it off is what would best serve you right now. Try it for a little while and let me know how it feels, what changed or shifted, what you noticed. And especially if you are removing the cloak, I would love if you shared about it in my group. A little extra challenge for you.
PS. thanks to my beloveds that have been in this conversation with me in the last few weeks, I am creating a little mixed media class to create our invisibility cloaks, honor them, and be at choice as to when we wear them. Be on the lookout for it in October.